Lindsay parties with her ex-girlfriend, Hayden continues a Hollywood tradition, Ashlee mops floors, and can you guess which Hilton is behind bars?
~POP MUSIC EMERGENCY~
A ton of you messaged me that Successica is returning to her singing roots & scheduled a concert for TODAY, I checked it out and the rumors are true!
But immediately the date of the show caught my eye - I remember summer ‘06 is when she released her pop masterpiece A Public Affair, so I went to check out the release date:
Coincidence? I don’t think so! This is the comeback we’ve all been waiting for! She’s also shared a couple pics of her in the studio recently:
And her comeback tour doesn’t stop there, In Touch is reporting that she wants a Vegas residency a la Brit Brit:
“She’s hell-bent on landing a Vegas residency. With state-of-the art technology and backdrops paired with her sex appeal, she thinks she can give the other headliners a run for their money. After 20 years in the music business, Jess is excited to follow her dreams and become a Vegas legend.”
And a now-refuted story from the Enquirer claims that Jessica’s been spending $50K on food & wine.
While we wait to be blessed with whatever pop masterpiece Successica has brewing in the studio, let’s take a peek at some of her recent candids:
And in other Simpson family news, Papa Joe had his very first art show:
And Ashlee’s mopping floors now, but did confirm to People that she’s been working on a new album:
~LOHAN NEWS~
Last time we checked up on our #1, she just got engaged and was proudly sporting her new rock around SoHo. Not long after, she hit up Cannes with Egor:
Some yacht pics:
After that, she returned to London where she attended the premiere of Alice Through The Looking Glass:
And celebrated pal Hofit Golan’s birthday:
And attended the Gucci Resort after party with Lady Victoria Hervey:
She tried out a photog’s camera:
Dined at Chiltern Firehouse:
And spent a day at Mauritius with Egor, where they displayed Speidi-level PDA for the cameras:
And this past week, Lindsay spent a night on the town with Kourtney Kardashian:
The girls hit up Ours restaurant in London before shifting the party over to Lou Lou’s nightclub:
And of course, they dutifully documented their adventurous night on Instagram & Snapchat:
And Kourtney even wore Lindsay’s dress the next morning!
Lindsay gave Kourtney her dress. Charitable queen pic.twitter.com/YZKgRJfvfv
— not lindsay lohan (@drugproblem)June 9, 2016
I’m not sure why, but the party girl pairing somehow blew everyone’s minds - and apparently nobody knew that the Lohans & Kardashians have been good friends for well over a decade?
Lindsay & the Ks have been kicking it since the Mean Girls days, but that was back when Paris reigned supreme & Kimmy was as irrelevant as Courtney Peldon (If you had to Google who she is, then I’ve proven my point).
Even after the Kardashians rose to fame, Lindsay remained good friends with them - being hated by Paris probably bonded the girls for life. The Lohans were even at Kim’s wedding to Kris Humphries:
And who can forget when Kimmy brought a jail-bound LL some Chinese food? A true sign of friendship.
Anyways, the real story isn’t that LL & Kourtney were hanging out, it was the fact that Lindsay dined with her fiance Egor and former girlfriend Courtenay “Google me, you dumb fuck” Semel!
In case your memory’s fuzzy and you totally blocked out the late-00s lesbian socialite love triangle (square?) of Linds, Courtenay, Casey, & Tila Tequila, a refresher can be found here. But how awkward must that be to have your dubious Russian millionaire fiance and the heiress that used to do lines off your snatch at the same dinner table - it sounds like a Bret Easton Ellis novel waiting to happen!
Anyways, after her fun in London, she hopped over to Madrid with Egor & squeezed in some one-on-one time:
And while in town, she attended Uno de 50’s 20th anniversary party:
Speaking of Spain, I saw Mandy Moore’s in Barcelona - is a Wilmer Valderrama ex-girlfriend meet-up in the works?
In more recent Lilo news, she uploaded/deleted a video to Instagram of someone - breaking? - into her hotel room/house/idk - it doesn’t make any sense, but the caption was, “What happened to peace & #ramadan?” and I’m ready to accept that as the new, “This is crazy how all of this is happening while Lauren’s gone.”
Sorry for the shitty quality, I had to record my screen with another phone because she deleted it so fast. Aside from that, a judge OK’d Lindsay’s Grand Theft Auto lawsuit, Egor is reportedly throwing a massive 30th birthday bash in Greece for Linds on July 2nd, and according to Page Six, she’s working on a massive comeback - her plan? A full blown attack on Jennifer Lawrence.
Just kidding, but apparently she changed her phone number & email addresses when she moved to London to weed out any bad influences in her life, and the article also claims she’s been living a much healthier lifestyle, opting to spend late nights at home reading scripts instead of going out. Go get 'em Linds!
And in other Lohan family news, Michael is getting hair plugs:
And here are some of Lindsay’s Insta posts from the past month:
Remember to add her on Snapchat: bella79
~Mary-Kate & Ashley News~
Last month was #major for our favorite twins - they finally opened The Row flagship store in NYC!
After the store opening, the girls spent the night eating burgers with Olivier:
And the following week they dragged the inferior Olsen, Lizzie, to the CFDA Awards:
And most recently, Ashley’s car broke down in East Hampton:
The girls also did an interview with Vogue, where Mary-Kate admitted that she’s never shopped online before. Inspirational!
And finally, there’s been rumors that Mary-Kate’s pregnant because she stopped smoking cigarettes - I hope it’s true because I love the concept of an 'Olsen Heiress’:
Also, today is the twins’ 30th birthday! Hopefully they’ll have a fun party like last year. Happy birthday girls!
~HILTON NEWS~
In probably the peak of 2016 thus far, Paris Hilton’s little brother Conrad is getting hauled off to the slammer - around the 10 year anniversary of his sister’s own arrest for DUI!
Last Monday, Conrad admitted in court to using drugs - marijuana, synthetic cannabinoids, & cocaine - which is a violation of his parole. And unfortunately for him, the parole violation was not his first. As most of us remember, Paris’ little brother has a long history with the law. When he was 17-years-old, he hit a car while drunk and speeding:
A neighbor who was first on the scene claimed Conrad was, “taking a piss in the driveway of my neighbor… he said, 'I’m sorry sir. I am drunk and I have done a very stupid thing.” Conrad proceeded to beg the neighbor not to call the police, and when the neighbor asked him why he was driving drunk in the first place, Conrad responded: “Because I’m a fuck-up. You cannot call my parents. They’re on vacation, I’m 17 and out past curfew.” Conrad proceeded to dangle his wrist in front of the neighbor and said, “See this bracelet. It costs $11,000. I can pay for everything.”
Not long after the crash, Conrad ran into trouble once again when he was busted for weed possession. In July 2012, he was arrested again after testing positive for marijuana - a violation of his probation. A couple of years later he crashed his car, once again, while speeding in Palm Springs. Around the same time as the crash, he suffered his now-infamous plane meltdown in which he fought a flight attendant who caught him trying to smoke weed in the bathroom. Conrad then shouted: “I am going to fucking kill you, I will fucking own anyone on this flight; they are fucking peasants.” He proceeded to grab another flight attendant and shout: “I could get you all fired in 5 minutes. I know your boss! My father will pay this out. He has done it before. Dad paid $300k last time.” Conrad’s attorney, Robert Shapiro, blamed the incident on a sleeping pill Conrad took before the flight.
After the incident, Conrad checked into a 30-day drug and alcohol treatment program. Later that year, Conrad’s ex-girlfriend Hunter Salomon - the daughter of 1 Night In Paris costar Rick Salomon - reported that Conrad started becoming scarily obsessed with her, claiming he told her that she was the love of his life & he even threatened to kill himself.
Hunter claimed that Conrad would show up at her home at all hours, crying to Hunter’s mom that he wanted to marry her daughter. At one point, he told her to “get a restraining order because he can’t restrain himself.” In June 2015, Conrad was arrested after breaking into Hunter’s home, and he was quickly subdued by an army of cops, and his own father Rick Hilton.
This past January, Conrad violated his probation by failing one of his drug tests and was sentenced to 90 days in Passages Malibu.
But it looks like Paris’ kin didn’t learn, he ended up being terminated from the treatment program and continued to fail drug tests, so a judge sentenced him to 2 months in prison - causing Conrad to break into tears in court as Rick & Kathy watched the sentencing - ahh, just like his big sister!
All he needed to do was cry, “Mom! This isn’t right!” and it would’ve been 2007 all over again, but alas, Conrad was hauled off to the slammer on Wednesday. Good luck behind bars C! Hopefully P gave you a few tips - oh, and start practicing your grand exit now, since it’ll be hard to top this one:
He didn’t stand a chance.
In other Hilton news, Nicky had her baby shower last month:
Aside from the family, other guests included Bijou Phillips, La Toya Jackson, & Nicole Richie’s mom Brenda:
Cute!
I’ll leave you with this video of Nicky making fun of Paris’ Snapchat voice:
~Haunted Real Estate~
Renovations on Brittany Murphy’s death home are finally complete!
Then:
Now:
The house was also owned by Britney Spears in the early '00s, who sold it to Brittany in 2003 for $3.8 million. The current house has five bedrooms, 6.75 bathrooms, and it’s currently on the market for $19.75 million. This entire section was just an excuse for me to link my Brittany Murphy death conspiracy.
Would you live in a house knowing two people were #allegedly killed there?
~The War Is Over~
Peace has finally been restored in it-girl-dom! A decade after battling it out in the hallowed halls of Hyde, Hiltons & Barton have kissed & made up once & for all!
The epic feud started in 2005, when Mischa started dating Paris’ then-BFF Kimberly Stewart’s ex-fiance, Cisco Adler (Oblig ballsack pic!).
The two blondes were not pleased with Coop’s new man, and they quickly mobilized - enlisting the help of their fellow bimbos and Us Weekly editors, planting negative stories about the O.C. starlet and whispering totally nasty things about her from the safety of their booth at Les Deux.
To make Young Hollywood even more divided, Coop had P’s then-rival Nicole Richie on her side, but P still had a secret weapon - Mischa’s ex-boyfriend Greasy Bear (of “Firecrotch” fame)!
The first shot in the Hilton/Barton battle came from often-underused Team Hilton trooper Nicky, with her crying: “What is that fat pig doing here?” when Mischa showed up to a party at the Beverly Wilshire. Media blows quickly followed suit, with Mischa joking in an interview that Paris “steals people’s boyfriends” - alluding to Hilton snatching up Starving Nachos from Coop’s ally Mary-Coke Olsen.
But Mischa didn’t stop there; she quickly added that Paris “seems to hate everyone around her age who is more successful - silly bitch” - and needless to say, when Paris caught wind of the comments she was not pleased. She told People: “I don’t even know the girl. I could care less. It seems like she is the one who is trying to stir up a rivalry. I have never said a word about her in my life, but she seems to be spending a lot of time thinking about me.” Paris’ publicist Elliot added: “A lot of celebrities are using Paris’ name so they can get some ink, and Mischa seems to be one of them.”
Coop quickly backtracked and told NY Daily News that she was only joking when she claimed Hilton was a hussy, and she also added that the two only met “one or two times,” and that Paris was the one trying to stir up a feud, not her. But boyfriend Cisco had her back and told the Daily Mirror: “Has Paris nothing better to do? At least Misch has a job - she’s a respected actress.”
The deafening sound of the truth sent Paris retreating, causing her to enlist her pal Perez - hence the birth of his Mischa monicker “Mushy Fartone.”
Paris scored another point the following January when Mischa and Cisco split, shortly after the infamous ballsack snap leaked on ParisExposed.com. But it seems like P felt a tad sad about Coop’s streak of bad luck - y'know, losing the TV role that made her actually relevant, and then her boyfriend, so she allegedly phoned up her rival and tried to make nice, or at least according to a September 2007 issue of The National Enquirer:
Paris Hilton – playing her “New Paris” role to the hilt – phoned ex-BFF Mischa Barton, cooing about mending their prickly relationship – and gushing that of all her frenemies, she missed the ex-”O.C.” star the most! Said a source: “Paris then went into a rant about the mess Nicole Richie’s made of her life, how Britney Spears snubbed her – and that Lindsay Lohan’s white trash and destined to be dead soon.” Soured by Paris’s poison tongue, Mischa blew off an invite for a just-us-girlies-get-together… and hung up abruptly. Just days later… you guess it!… Mischa heard Paris was slamming her as “a jealous witch!” Mee-Ow!
The sparring continued into 2008, when Paris’ then-boyfriend Benji Madden’s band Good Charlotte was touring with Mischa’s then-boyfriend Taylor Locke’s band Rooney - I know, so many it-girls dating try-hard musicians, try to keep up. Anyways, P was bitter she wasn’t the only chick waiting in the wings, and started to suspect that Coop was stealing the spotlight from her. Luckily, the tour ended before Mischa could lunge at P with a pair of Keds, and the girls went their separate ways, Paris scoring My New BFF& Mischa scoring a stint in a psych ward, but I guess distance has helped the one-time pals rekindle their friendship, as displayed by recent comments on Barron’s Instagram:
The girls were running in the same circles during Cannes, so maybe their mutual friends had a hand in ending the standoff.
~Continuing A Hollywood Tradition~
Since 2004, the halls of Cirque Lodge have welcomed a long-line of troubled starlets, from a scary skinny Mary-Kate Olsen in 2004:
Followed by a post-DUI Lindsay Lohan in 2007:
A heavy-drinking Kirsten Dunst in 2008:
And then a pill-popping Eva Mendes later that year:
To its latest celebrity guest: Hayden Panettiere!
Hayden announced via Twitter last month that she was checking back into treatment:
— hayden panettiere (@haydenpanettier)May 12, 2016
Star claims her problems are related to alcohol rather than PPD, but I’m going to trust Hayden on this one:
Hopefully everything works out for her. I’ve been a big fan for years, and she seems really sweet!
~Random Tidbits~
- Vincent Gallois suing Facebook.
- Courtney Love is going to play a self-destructive mother.
- Nelson Peltzthrew a $2 million bar mitzvah for his sons. Pillz is probably fuming that her last birthday party only cost $1 million.
- Somebody stole Foxy Brown’s Gucci suitcase.
- TomKat’s old home is off the market.
- Faye Dunawaybrought a scale to Cannes.
- Victoria Beckham’s old hip-hop album leaked.
- Jamie Lynn Spears talks about… well… everything.
- Seasoned actress Bristol Palingot hitched to her baby daddy.
- Michael Jackson’s former Vegas hideaway is now on the market.
- Nick Noltestill looks like a wreck. My mom is currently crying & cradling her Rich Man, Poor Man DVD boxset.
- Leighton Meester’s new show will tank.
- Courtney Stoddenthinks she’ll have a gay baby.
- Eva Longoriagot married!
- Macaulay Culkinis still a mess.
- Saint Siennastill loves Jude Law/doesn’t love herself.
- Janice Dickinsonis removing her implants
- You could’ve paid to go to Tori Spelling’s birthday party - why didn’t anyone tell me about this?
- Shanna Moakler’s divorce party makes history.
- Destiny’s reject Farrah Franklin was busted for public intoxication & weed possession.
- Ivanka Trump is writing another book.
- False alarm! Aubrey O'Day and Pauly Dare still an item.
- The mom from That’s So Ravenreveals why she left the show.
- Xtina is pissing off her neighbors.
- America Ferrerawants an Ugly Betty reunion special - hopefully Kimmie Keegan makes a comeback!
- Stephanie Seymour calls Kendull & Gigi: “Bitches of the moment.” She’s finally redeemed herself for giving birth to the Incest Bros.
Also, some Buzzfeed quizzes to help you waste time:
- Which Hilary Duff Movie Should You Watch Based On Your Birth Month? (I got Material Girls!)
- The Hardest Alexis Neiers Pretty Wild Meltdown Quiz You’ll Ever Take (It was so easy!)
~Tabloids~
I still didn’t renew my subscriptions to In Touch or Enquirer, so here’s Star, Ok!, & Us Weekly!
~Personal Stuff~
Finally, I know what you guys are wondering - “Why are you so fucking lazy? Why can’t you regularly post?” Well, this past week I finished high school! It’s been a pretty crazy - and busy - time, and I’m oddly sad about it - even though I vowed years ago that my stone cold heart wouldn’t shed a single tear. And for my classmates/best friends that read this blog (You know who you are!), just remember what Bowling For Soup wisely told us in 2006 - high school never ends:
So I’d like to take a moment to thank those select few for putting up with me each & every day over the years, and managing not to cringe every time I slipped in a Lohan or Olsen reference to a class presentation or conversation - and even my senior quote:
So to my friends who are reading this, you’re all rockstars & I’ll love you 4ever.mp3!
Now that the tears have been wiped away and we’ve said our goodbyes, let’s keep our fingers crossed that this summer will be scandal-filled! A new LIT post is in the works, in addition to a fun #dirt post with tons of #exclusive pre-surgery snaps of Bella Hadid! Also, a ton of you asked me if I was putting together a 'Where Are They Now’ post for The Hills - yes, I am! I was originally going to post it on the 10 year anniversary, but was swamped with last-minute schoolwork, so expect it very soon! In the words of Gossip Girl, grab your shades & your sunblock, this summer looks like a scorcher!
Start messaging me your celebrity encounters now! Oh, and in case you missed it:
- Where Are They Now: Socialite Rank (The website’s creator actually saw the post & messaged me that he loved it!)
- The Speidi Files: My interview with Spencer Pratt
- #TeamAmber: A definitive roundup of everything Amber Heard