A tell-all, a reality show with Lindsay Lohan, a brand new endorsement, and a potential sex tape. Yep, it’s time for #MischaWatch.
(Replace Brit Brit with Coop)
Last time we caught up withMischa Barton, she was crashing trucks into buildings, getting high behind the wheel, & partying alone. I guess Coop’s soul never died on that fateful May 2006 night, it just inhabited Mischa’s booze-and-adderall ridden bod.
Since then, the Hollywood rumor mill hasn’t slowed down, so let’s recap Coop’s wildest stories as of late:
1).A Sparkling New Endorsement?
Coop might not be making that much cash off her straight-to-VOD classics, but it doesn’t mean she hasn’t found other ways to pay the rent, take a peek at her latest endorsement for starters!
Yep, Coop’s plugging water now. She’s not the first celebrity to give 138 Water their close-up, but according to their website, she’s the only one that matters!
You can take a peek at more stunning snaps from Coop’s shoot here.
2).Coop Tells All!
According to a recent issue of Star (Okay, so it’s bullshit - I know!), our girl Coop is prepping for a potential Pulitzer - and her fellow washed-up aughts party pals better keep an eye out!
What could a potential Barton book bring? Well, a riveting recap of her OD at Nicole Richie’s 2007 Memorial Day bash, a firsthand account of teabagging Cisco Adler’s balls, how a botched wisdom tooth surgery leads to a 5150 - the possibilities are endless! Let us pre-order it on Amazon already, Coop!
3).Trainwreck Summit
Somewhere, far in the distance, Parasite Hilton’s wonky eye finally aligned and a slight wheeze escaped her Toucan Sam-looking beak, since according to a recent issue of the Enquirer (Bigger BS than ‘Star’ - I KNOW!), Coop is getting ready to take over TV once again with fellow walking disaster Lindsay Lohan:
“Lilo And Mischa Team For Trainwreck TV,” reads a headline from this week’s National Enquirer, which goes on to claim the pair has found a new “get-rich scheme, a rebound reality show.” A so-called “source” tells the supermarket tabloid, “Lindsay came up with the idea for them to costar in a reality show,” which will supposedly follow the actresses as they battle to “rebuild their careers and reputations.” The publication’s alleged insider contends a “broke as a joke” Lohan and “homeless” Barton both “know they would need to address their drug issues and arrests… But a reality show would be a win win because they can address their scandals on their own terms.”
It goes without saying that these faded Zoebots have quite the history, from their child modeling days in the '90s:
Hitting the big leagues together in the early '00s:
To finally drowning their post-career sorrows together by the end of the decade.
But according to a rep for Lilo (AKA Lindsay, since she can’t actually afford a rep), the rumors are “extremely false.” Bummer! I would’ve watched it in a heartbeat. People rag on Lindsay on OWN, but it was riveting. It was like a millennial Grey Gardens with coke and paparazzi. Combine that with Mischa’s disastrous Fearne Cotton interview and you have television gold.
4).California, Here We Come!
Following in the footsteps of her many Valtrex-chugging frenemies, rumor has it that Coop has her very own sex tape!
A Daily Mail report from early yesterday revealed that a naughty video starring a hoodie-clad Coop & a mysterious dark-haired man is making its way around the porn valley with a starting price of $500K:
“The footage is being touted to online porn companies, with a number of porn industry giants considering the offer. Kevin Blatt, Hollywood’s sex-tape broker, was approached by a third party with the video. He told DailyMail.com: 'The tape is being shopped around porn valley, the asking price is $500,000. 'I know that at least three large online porn sites, YouPorn.com, Porn.com and RedTube.com have reviewed it and they’re all seriously considering the offer. I’ve seen stills from the video, it’s clearly Mischa in my opinion. She’s seen performing a sex act on a guy and can be seen having sex in various positions.’ It’s not clear who the man in the video is and Barton has not stepped out with anyone publicly in recent months. It’s believed the video was shot at a private residence in Hollywood within the past year. Barton is seen wearing a grey hoodie and nothing else having sex on a double bed with a man wearing just a black t-shirt. The explicit footage appears to have been shot in a bedroom, the bed has a leather padded headboard and mirrored panels, while coffee cups and an empty bottle of Gatorade litter a bedside table. Adding to the less than glamorous surroundings, there’s also a flier on the table for CURRENT: LA, Los Angeles’ first city-wide Public Art Biennial. Sources close to the star fear for her emotional well-being, should the video be leaked online. One source told DailyMail.com: 'This is the last thing Mischa needs. Her name has been dragged through the mud enough times, she doesn’t need a sex scandal right now.’”
Damn, Coop! That’s one thing even Lilo hasn’t done (or at least had leaked) - remember that fake Calum Bestblow job picture, though?
Slightly more believable than the Ashlee Simpson sex tape gossip sites were trying to push back in '06 - even 7-year-old me knew that shit was bogus!
Anyways, I asked my devoted readers for their input in regards to a potential title for Coop’s latest cinematic venture, and there was clearly one winner:
@pcd2009 'California, Here We Come’ or bust
— PROBABLE CAU$E (@dylangrogers)March 13, 2017
Just release that shit already, Vivid.
Aside from that, here are some paparazzi shots of Mischa clutching a passport - Tijuana bound?
Thanks for keeping Hollywood interesting, Coop! It’s like 2009 never died!
UPDATE:
- After writing this post out, I did my daily search of Mischa’s name on Twitter (Yes, part of my morning routine is fighting people who think Marissa Cooper deserved to die), and I spotted a statement from Coop’s attorney about the sex tape:
BREAKING NEWS: I am proud to represent actress Mischa Barton, who is the victim of revenge pornography. Here is my statement. pic.twitter.com/87brpAJoqy
— Lisa Bloom (@LisaBloom)March 14, 2017
I’m ready for Mischa to serve some classic courtroom looks a la Lohan!
UPDATE #2:
- The Enquirer is claiming Mischa is behind the tape’s surfacing and wants a quick buck:
Notorious “sex-tape broker” Kevin Blatt is talking up a bidding war for the very intimate footage of Mischa having sex with an anonymous man, insisting that he was approached by a third party. He adds that he’s sure that it’s Mischa in the tape, even though he claims the footage of the former star of “The O.C.” shows her in a hoodie while “performing a sex act on a guy.” But with The National ENQUIRER revealing the troubled star’s money woes, some insiders are claiming Blatt is working with Mischa — just like he did in setting up Kim Kardashian’s infamous sex tape! “Kevin Blatt is just as good at covering up a sex tape than he is at selling one,” said an L.A. insider. “Nobody’s going to bid on a Mischa Barton sex tape without knowing they won’t be sued — and everyone knows that Blatt put together the deal on the Kim Kardashian tape that left her 'humiliated!’” Adult-industry professionals think that a sex tape can pay off big for the star, too. “Mischa made a lot of young fans when she was a star on 'The OC’ in the '90s,” said one. “They’re all grown up now!”
Okay… The O.C. did NOT air in the '90s - Coop isn’t that old!
UPDATE #3:
- Mischa & her attorney (She can afford one… apparently?) will be doing a press conference tomorrow morning about Coop’s latest scandal:
Press conference tomorrow with my client Mischa Barton as we fight revenge porn. pic.twitter.com/voi4is5hrB
— Lisa Bloom (@LisaBloom)March 15, 2017
UPDATES (3/15):
- Mischa’s attorney appeared on Good Morning America this morning to discuss the tape:
- I bolted out of my Art History class (Sorry Bernini!) so I wouldn’t miss the press conference since this is probably the only public appearance Mischa’s going to make all year - here are some clips:
.@knxbaird at actress #MischaBarton news conference in #WoodlandHills. Barton is alleged victim of revenge porn. #knxnewspic.twitter.com/q4euaAV6g4
— KNX 1070 NEWSRADIO (@KNX1070)March 15, 2017
Coop did a press conference this morning with her attorney about the tape: pic.twitter.com/jkfHXkANpg
— popculturediedin2009 (@pcd2009)March 15, 2017
You can watch the full thing on Lisa Bloom’s Facebook. My girl @drugproblem& I are blaming all of this on Gavin Doyle. This reeks of his influence. For those who aren’t familiar with him, he’s La Lohan’s ex-assistant (“GET OUT OF THE CAR GAVIN!”) & since then he’s set his sights on Coop. Whenever he attaches himself to somebody, bad things happen. Anyways, theories aside, here’s a rundown of what was said at the conference:
- Mischa reached out to Lisa Bloom’s firm on Monday night after reports about the tape surfaced.
- Mischa & her attorney went to court yesterday to request an emergency order against her ex-boyfriend, who has the tape.
- Anyone who attempts to distribute the tape, or stills from it, will be classified as “agents” of Mischa’s ex-boyfriend, which also fall under the court order.
- The relationship between Mischa & her ex-boyfriend was “brief.”
- One reporter said there’ve been rumors that Mischa looks directly at the camera during the tape, suggesting she knew she was being recorded. Mischa’s attorney responded that doesn’t mean shit.
- TMZ is reporting that Coop’s order of protection covers not just one, but two former boyfriends:
Mischa Barton got not just one but 2 restraining orders against 2 former boyfriends … one or both of whom she believes is peddling a sex tape. As we reported, Mischa has filed a police report after stories surfaced someone is trying to sell a sex tape featuring the actress for $500k. She said in a news conference the culprit is a former BF, but she didn’t name names. TMZ has obtained 2 restraining orders Mischa got Tuesday against Jon Zacharias and Adam Shaw. She said in the docs she started dating Jon last October and says he took videos of “us having intimate relations, photos of me naked in the shower, and other videos and photos of me unclothed.” Mischa says all videos and photos were taken without her knowledge or permission. She goes on to say she broke up with Jon after she learned he was only interested in her because she was a celebrity. She then started dating Adam, a former friend of Jon’s. She says Adam told her Jon had bragged to him he had the videos and photos. She goes on to say Adam copied the photos and videos and tried to erase them from Jon’s computer. She says Adam turned out to be a bad guy, forging her signature on checks. Mischa says both guys are desperate for money, and she believes one or both are the ones who are peddling the sex tape. A judge ordered both Adam and Jon to stay clear of Mischa and prohibited them from selling, distributing, giving away or showing any of the videos or photos.
- And Daily Mail’s obtained pictures of the restraining order:
