Lindsay’s MySpace gets hacked, and Shanna exacts her revenge.
Springtime in Hollywood: Britney’s out of rehab, Mischa’s out of a job, Tara’s out of money, and Kimberly Stewart… well, nobody gives a fuck about her.
So what’s going on with Lindsay Lohan?
Two months out of rehab, La Lohan was already back on the club circuit. After wrapping production on her future Razzie-winning opus I Know Who Killed Me, the wild child pulled out of her follow-up project - The Best Time Of Our Lives with fellow Zoebot Keira Knightley (Later to be replaced, and retitled, with pap-magnet Sienna Miller) - and resumed her nightly runs to Hyde, Winston’s, and LAX.
But it’s not a week in La Vida Lohan without a dose of drama.
In the wee hours of April 19th, 2007, Lilo learned news even more shocking than Sanjaya’s elimination on American Idol: her MySpace was hacked!
The once-private profile, decked with the URL “myspace.com/privacycunt” went public, courtesy of a mystery hacker who began to unleash LL’s private musings onto the gossip-hungry public.
One has to wonder, though, what hadn’t we seen of Lindsay Lohan already?
The past year welcomed crotch shots, nip-slips, and bizarre Blackberrymusings that made Courtney Love seem coherent in comparison, but the hacker made sure to dig up the best goodies he could find, and gossip sites couldn’t be more grateful.
Amongst the Lohanabilia were private shots of the starlet at her most scandalous - like playing Connect Four!
Grinding on Marc Jacob’s ex-rentboy Jason Preston:
Posing with childhood pal, and E! True Hollywood Story guest star, Jessie Jutt:
And some random guy:
Doing… something?
In her element:
But private snaps weren’t all that was leaked! Amongst the Lilo rubble were dozens of messages with Hollywood pals, such as a certain DJ friend of hers:
A friendly exchange with one of her ex-flings, Paris Hilton’s on-and-off boyfriend Starving Nachos:
Oh, and a snap from Stavros’ MySpace - check the caption (Oh hey, Frankie Delgado):
And a classy comment from the shipping heir himself:
You almost forget that these people are all in their twenties!
Also leaked during the Lohack was a war of the words with Paris herself, in which Lindsay calls Perez Hilton a “fat fuck” and suggests Paris’ storage locker scandal from earlier that year was a publicity stunt:
And a slightly more serious note from P to LL:
But the most heated messages leaked that evening came not from Wonky McValtrex, but rather Travis Barker’s ex-wife Shanna Moakler:
While the girls’ messages start out friendly, they quickly descend into digs as Shanna begins to accuse Lilo of sleeping with Travis, much like her frenemy Paris did:
Also in the messages were revelations from LL that the infamous shots of her, Paris, & Britney were simply a publicist-arranged photo-op:
Shocker!
But just as the dirt was getting good, the hacker announced he’d received word from Camp Lohan - and it’s safe to they weren’t too happy with their client’s latest scandal:
“OFF THE RECORD . I WAS EMAILED BY HER CAMP DEMANDING THAT I DELETE EVERYTHING AND WILL BE SUED IF THE WEBSITE IS OPENED . LESLIE SLOANE ZELNICK MENTIONED SHE IS MAKING A STATEMENT TOMORROW STATING HER CLIENT NEVER HAD A MYSPACE/EMAIL/BLACKBERRY ACCOUNT . GOOD LUCK WITH THAT , THE SITE WILL BE READY BY 4/20 AT THE EARLIEST . HACKER310”
The site never came, despite teases of a “28 sec. video camera phone ‘snorting powdery substance’,” amongst other supposed finds.
But just when Lilo thought she had a chance to breathe, and do massive amounts of blow in peace, another attack on Firecrotch came from her new rival Shanna.
While Hollywood’s resident party girls were gearing up for yet another night on the town Friday, April 20th, the ex-Meet The Barkers star decided to bask in her enemy’s recent misfortunes & set gossip sites abuzz with a MySpace bulletin:
Within minutes, Lilo & Paris were bombarded with messages ranging from sweet:
To… well:
Once Lindsay caught wind of Shanna’s shenanigans, she retaliated by adding a link in her buddy info titled “Hatemail” - redirecting to Shanna’s email address. She also took the time to pen an away message that puts all of our aggressive adolescent cyber-digs to shame:
But LL wasn’t fighting the war solo! Seemingly on Team Lohan was her ex-boyfriend, Hard Rock scion Harry Morton.
On April 21st, a post surfaced on a MySpace profile supposedly belonging to the heir:
dancing with the dlisters
myspace.com/privacycunt is not who everyone thinks it is, that url has been hacked/leaked and has not been her account for a while, its now run by some desperate loser who stole her url the second her account was deleted.
this fatass needs to be more focused on keeping her legs closed more then being worried about whos fucking that deadbeat rocker.
starkitten@tmail.com = 10 DILDOS IN HER ASS
And if you thought that was classy, Harry’s bulletin was followed up by this:
But in a twist of events, Shanna denied that the contact information Lohan & co. leaked was even hers:
And she also went on to claim that Harry was her friend, and that the MySpace account with his name was bogus:
A claim surprisingly supported by Morton himself, who went to court weeks later to file a lawsuit against the person behind the account:
In the lawsuit, Harry claimed he suffered “emotional distress,” was forced to “rehabilitate his reputation” and “lost business” due to the MySpace debacle. The only problem is… he didn’t know who was responsible:
Whether or not Jane Doe was ever uncovered remains a mystery to this day, but the it-girl drama didn’t die quite yet. Within hours of the LoHilton leak, screen names and phone numbers belonging to the girls’ pals Brody Jenner, Mary-Kate Olsen, and more began to leak - without Shanna’s help!
But before the dust could settle, the PR teams came out to play. A spokesperson for Lindsay told TMZ: “Those are not her e-mail adresses.” Meanwhile, Paris’ super-publicist Elliot Mintz came up with his usual top-notch Hilton defense:
“It appears to me that this woman is simply desperate for press and attention. The facts are simple. Shanna deliberately posted Paris’ phone number and email address on her MySpace site. It was an unprovoked invasion upon Paris’ privacy which caused her to immediately change her contact information. It was a childish, mean-spirited thing to do and we are not going to dignify such an action with any additional comment.”
As for the woman who started it all, a rep for Shanna stated:
“Shanna had valid reasons for her actions and she stands by every one of them. She’s lost her tolerance for childish games played at her expense and the expense of others for the amusement of bored children. Shanna is at work on her new series for the CW and frankly doesn’t have the inclination to spend more time on this matter.”
Ah, yes, the CW. A prestigious outlet for talent such as Shanna’s.
But the Moakler mayhem didn’t sideline Paris and Lindsay’s own beef. As the one year anniversary of Firecrotch-gate fast approached, the on-and-off feud between Tinseltown’s reigning it-girls reignited during a night at Us Weekly’s annual Hot Hollywood party the following week.
The crowd at L.A.’s Sugar club that night resembled more of a high school cafeteria.
While Wonky was joined by pals Kim“Ho” Stewart, Jack Osbourne, Ryan Seacrest, Lance Bass, JC Chasez, and Joey Fatone, Camp Firecrotch boasted former frenemy Ashlee Simpson, beau Pete Wentz, and Hilton’s onetime BFF - only to be scorned by jealousy - Kim Kardashian.
But while blood wasn’t shed that evening, ties between the party girls remained strained as spring turned to summer, only to take a backseat to the twosome’s tricky legal troubles - to which their mutual enemy Shanna Moakler found a delicious dose of schadenfreude.
Ahhh, 2007.
Gifs & Graphics:@drugproblem& @furhag