The God Warrior resurfaces, Amanda’s comeback continues - and Pamela’s poetry, too. Oh, and I brushed shoulders with a Cirque Lodge alum - no, not Mary-Kate!
Gargoyles, Psychics, and the Nae Nae
It’s been a while since we’ve caught up with Marguerite Perrin, better known to you guys as “The God Warrior.” Well, I was scrolling through my Twitter feed last night and stumbled upon this:
I’m not sure of the context, but I’ll just appreciate it for all its glory.
Pam Writes… Again
Someone once penned: “He took on the Leviathan and won. That is sexy.”
Whitman? Nah.
Keats? Nuh-uh.
Pamela Anderson? You bet!
In the blonde’s latest batshit crazy blog, she talks about Julian Assange’s sexiest qualities - since apparently there are some?
She also labels Theresa May the worst Prime Minister in “living memory.”
And she invites President Macron to attend the opening of her upcoming Parisian vegan joint.
Wow! Political activism and self-promotion in one paragraph? Pam is truly a woman of many talents.
Kudos to you, Pamela Anderson. If only you found something actually worth defending - fellow geopolitical mover and shaker Lindsay Lohan, perhaps?
Another Point For Team Bynes
If you’re still recovering from Amanda Bynes’ recent interview, don’t worry - I am too, but to add onto the good news, it seems like a Los Angeles judge is just as excited for her comeback as we are!
After months of hearings and “detailed presentations to the judge regarding her progress and plans moving forward,” the court approved Lynn Bynes’ petition to terminate the conservatorship of Amanda’s estate, and now the actress has regained control of her finances - but health issues still fall into her parents’ lap.
But, hey! Any news is good news at this point. Mandy’s conservatorship attorney told People: “This was a first step in the right direction. Amanda’s doing fantastic.”
Are you ready for the Bynesaissance?
A Night At The Movies
On a good day, I wouldn’t willingly see a Scarlett Johansson movie - except The Other Boleyn Girl, I loved that trashy mess - but, a pal of mine works at Sony and asked me if I’d be interested in spending a night gawking at Z-Listers and La Lohan’s arch rival at the New York premiere of Rough Night.
My answer? Hell yes.
So I hitched it uptown with my best friend Ethan and revved my spying skills up to high-gear. I usually don’t enjoy meeting celebrities, I like to judge from afar - so this seemed like the perfect setting!
The shindig went down at the AMC Loews Lincoln Square 13. Ethan & I arrived at 6:30, when the red carpet was supposed to start. To the surprise of absolutely no one, it was a ghost town, so we killed time by going inside and grabbing our tickets. As soon as I saw a sign reading Buzzfeed Check-In, I knew it was going to be that kind of night.
Fast forward, we’re on the sidewalk talking when someone strapped with a headpiece runs past us shouting: “DID SOMEONE FORGET TO HOLD MOLLY RINGWALD’S TICKET!?!?!”
Life on the D-List.
By 7:00, the cast started to roll in:
- Scarlett looked wonderfully unremarkable, as expected.
- Zoe Kravitz was stunning - and way shorter than I’d imagined.
- The SNL chick that plays Hillary Clinton was friendly.
- Sonja Morgan was there… for some reason?
But none of that mattered to me once a certain A-List trainwreck entered my line of vision.
Yes, Demi-Fucking-Moore.
As soon as she stepped out of her car, I lost my breath. There she was, and I was practically paralyzed.
What do I do? Do I take pictures? Do I tell her she OD’d on whippets on my 14th birthday? Do I ask if she stayed in Lindsay’s room at Cirque, or Kirsten Dunst’s?
As she waltzed past me, I couldn’t utter a phrase. I just stared at the glory that is Demi Moore. Ashton Kutcher did not deserve her.
Once the film’s cast gathered for a group photo call, Ethan and I headed back inside the theater. Nick Kroll was standing next to us, but nobody knew who he was - he liked one of my tweets about Bella Thorne though, so I had to give a PCD2009 reader his dues. Anyways, we walked upstairs and then Colton Haynes shows up with his boyfriend/husband/whatever - they’ve been dating for, like, two days - right?
As Ethan stares at Colton, I look around and there she is, once again: Demi Moore.
As she talks to a bunch of balding men, she walks right next to me, we make eye contact, we brush shoulders, and she walks away.
I’m not saying it was the greatest moment of my life… but it was the greatest moment of my life.
Anyways, the rest of the night went without a hitch. The staff working the premiere loaded everybody up with vodka so they’d hopefully find the movie enjoyable - I won’t lie, I chuckled a few times - Zoe Kravitz’s scenes were the best by far, but all in all, I had a good time, and I hope you guys enjoyed reading my marginally interesting night amongst the stars.
I’ll leave you with some of my favorite pictures of Demi:
I wonder if she and Zoe had a conversation about this.
Tabloids
Some articles from the recent issues of OK!, Life & Style, Us Weekly, People, Star, Globe, National Enquirer, and National Examiner:
OK!
Us Weekly
Life & Style
National Enquirer
In Touch
Globe
People
National Examiner
Star
Random Tidbits
- Madonnawants to be a soccer mom.
- Former actress Cameron Diazexplains the state of her career.
- Janet Jacksonheads to divorce court.
- Destroying Scientology is Leah Remini’s passion.
- Paris Hilton With A Thesaurusthinks Washington D.C. is, like, totally vicious.
- And finally, for those wondering about the status of my podcast with Spencer Pratt, here’s the scoop. Originally, Spencer and I were going to do a weekly podcast, but trying to get our schedules to line up was a bit of a hassle, and we figured that weekly podcasts are played out. There’s a dozen new ones each day, and who has the patience to listen to someone speak for that long? I don’t! So we put our heads together and came up with a different approach, and we’ve been developing it the past several weeks. I promise I’ll give you guys a teaser of it soon, but I know you’ll love it! All I can say is that it’ll be like this blog come to life - I’m very excited.
Have a great week!