LC bombs, Avril’s new man, Aaron’s game plan, and Phil Spector’s new look!
Another Point For Team Speidi
Lauren Conrad can’t sell magazines, apparently.
According to a recent Page Six report, LC’s recent People cover story - which I posted pictures of here - is on track to be the publication’s worst selling in history, racking up a measly 300K in sales.
Damn, I’m sure even Ceiling Eyes could pull in bigger numbers.
The Many Loves Of J.R.
I don’t know what it is with Avril Lavigne, but she seems to be perpetually stuck in the aughts - and who am I kidding, I love it!
Last Monday, the Motherfucking Princess™ was spotted out on the town with a new man on her arm, producer J.R. Rotem:
The duo spent the evening at The Nice Guy before stumbling outside for X17 cameras… try and string together a more 2007 sentence, just try.
Anyways, for my celeb-savvy readers, you might recall J.R. as Brit-Linds-Wonky’s old flame back in the day.
The sisterhood of the traveling douche began in early 2006, when Rotem was enlisted as one of the many producers on Parasite’s self-titled debut. After dropping a few mildly warm tracks together, the two reportedly had a short-lived fling before things fizzled and he hopped on the post-divorce Britney train.
After splitting with K-Fed, J.R. was one of the first guys a newly-single Brit Brit was spotted locking lips with as she worked on her next album…
… but the new relationship allegedly angered her pal Wonky - and K-Fed, too, who quickly dropped Rotem from his MySpace friends list. Burn!
Fast forward to 2007, Brit and J.R. are spotted together every now and then, he lies to a bunch of tabloids about knocking her up, and then he brags about fucking Brit “tractor style” to Blender… all before setting his sights on another player in the party girl trio: La Lohan.
In December 2007, a thrice-rehabilitated Firecrotch was snapped stepping out with Rotem amidst rumors she was ready to take a breather from acting and focus on her other passion: music.
The eyeroll-worthy duo recorded a few tracks together - Too Young To Die, Walka Not A Talka, etc. - before parting ways and Lilo resuming what she does best… which I’m not quite sure of?
Also, Wake Up Call chanteuse Hayden Panettiere was once spotted canoodling with Rotem outside Koi:
Learning from her master, I see!
As for J.R.’s current fling with Avril, insiders told E! News that the pair met in the studio and definitely share some “chemistry,” in addition to a “passion” for music… or wishing it was still 2006, probably both!
And their romance tour continued Saturday night with a trip to Delilah in West Hollywood:
Do you approve of this new pairing?
Here’s J.R.’s old JDate profile, by the way:
Hot or not?
Phil’s New Look
Speaking of producers we haven’t thought about since 2007, how’s Phil Spector been holding up lately?
Well, last week Daily Mail released a new mugshot of the 77-year-old killer - and he’s bald!
Oh, and he has hearing aids now, too.
It’s okay, Phil. You’ll be dead soon.
Aaron’s Plan
What happens when you’re barely scraping Billboard’s Bubbling Under and you’ve already given every barely legal sorority girl in the Bible Belt gonorrhea? Emergency rebranding!
Ever since coming out as bisexual last week and ditching his partner-in-meth, Aaron Carter’s been on a restless mission to win over the LGBTQ community and hopefully scrape together a few more coins in the process - let’s take a peek at his not-so-secret strategy!
1). Appearing on Will & Grace:
I am obsessed with @DebraMessing and @MeganMullally#willandgrace🤷♂️
— Aaron Carter (@aaroncarter)August 8, 2017
Thanks! I think it’s time for a #cameo🤷♂️ #willandgrace September 28th! https://t.co/IVCSnL0DTC
— Aaron Carter (@aaroncarter)August 9, 2017
2). Collaborating with Hilary Duff:
Sure. https://t.co/OLTIkvxFb8
— Aaron Carter (@aaroncarter)August 9, 2017
3). Proclaiming “I’m a bisexual man” for no apparent reason during a performance at a Tampa Hamburger Mary’s:
4). And professing his love for Tom Hardy and Adam Lambert:
Seems foolproof!
And in other news, I got a little inside scoop on AC’s ex-girlfriend, Madison Parker. Apparently before the two were an item, Maddie was not as tweaker-ish, and that she’s become a “completely different” person ever since shacking up with the trainwreck.
Long story short, it looks like you don’t want to accept an invite to Aaron’s party anytime soon.
Good luck with the game plan, AC. Hope you’re already planning your 2018 Pride performance of I Want Candy!
Tabloids
Some articles from this week’s issues of OK!, People, Us Weekly, Life & Style, In Touch, Star, National Enquirer and Globe:
OK!
Life & Style
People
Us Weekly
Star
In Touch
Globe
National Enquirer
Random Tidbits
- Nicole Richie and Kim Kardashian: partners in crime.
- The Jersey Shorereunion trailer is here.
- And so it is! Katie Holmesis bringing The Secret to the big screen.
- Celebrity Deathmatch: Leah Remini vs. Elisabeth Moss.
- About that time a dog ate a heart on One Tree Hill…
- Is a King Of The Hill revival in the works?
- Selena Gomezloves Woody Allen.
- Anna Faris announces her divorce with an iMessage.
- Check out this coconut water tribute to Jessica Alba!
- Lori Loughlin’s daughter is big on YouTube, apparently?
- Cokategoes topless, wants to procreate.
- And on a random sidenote, I’ve been considering doing a true crime roundup for all of our favorite cases of the aughts - anybody interested? Let me know!
Anyways, hope you guys have a great week!
