On This Day In 2007 11-year-old Ireland Baldwin failed to answer her father Alec’s scheduled morning phone call from New York. As a result, he left her this voicemail.

Mischa hits the bars, tabloids… and her sister?

(Replace Brit Brit with Coop)

It’s been a hot second since the last #MischaWatch post, but so much has happened that I need to keep you kids in the loop.

Last time we caught up with Coop, she was still embroiled in a sex tape showdown with her ex-lovers, and sat down with Dr. Phil to get into the dirty details.

Well, since then the legal circus has only gotten wilder. After Coop sought a restraining order extension against her two exes believed to be involved in the porn plot, Ex Numero Dos - Adam Spaw (AKA Adam Shaw) - objected to the order, claiming in court documents that he & Mischa aren’t even exes… but still an item:

“I do not agree to an order that would preclude me from having any contact with Petitioner. I have never attempted to sell or distribute the tapes of Petitioner. The opposite is true, i.e., I have made efforts since I first learned of the existence of the tapes to make sure that they were not sold or distributed in any fashion. I’m been [sic] in an intimate relationship with Petitioner for many months and I can’t wait to see my girlfriend as soon as this proceeding is resolved. I do not agree the Petitioner should be allowed to record our conversations since I have been wrongfully accused and I should enjoy the same rights as any other citizen.”

What the fuck?

If your head is spinning, so is mine, but Coop’s superlawyer Lisa Bloom issued a statement to The Wrap claiming that Spaw’s supposed ongoing relationship with Mischa is total BS:

“Mischa is absolutely not involved with Adam Spaw. Everything she said in her declaration is 100 percent accurate.”

Thankfully, the bizarro Lifetime-esq drama hasn’t held our girl Coop back from letting loose. Mischa was spotted tossing back drinks at a rooftop bar in L.A. this past week:

And if you thought that was all for Coop news, think again!

A loyal PCD2009 reader, who’s friends with Mischa’s sister Hania on Facebook, hooked the blog up with some private pictures of the troubled twosome - and some Greasy Bear nostalgia, too:

But the strangest find in my reader’s Barton excursion was this August 2013 post in which a bruised Hania alleges that her “sister” attacked her and pulled out her hair:

The sister in question could either be Coop, or the third Barton spawn Zoe.

But I have a feeling Mischa could lose her temper easily.

And our final Coop scoop comes from another PCD2009 reader, who submitted this in a two-for-one package last night (Alongside a Lohan encounter I’ll share soon):

“This was a year or more ago in West Hollywood. My friend was at Revolver partying and met this guy. They hit it off, and he wanted to introduce him to his friend. He’s introduced to this girl who is wearing a hat and sunglasses - at night - and realizes that it’s Mischa Barton. She introduces herself and then quickly asks if he has money… because she’s trying to buy coke. He says, ‘No,’ and then she moved on to some other random person and asked them.”

Typical Barton behavior, and that’s why I love her!

On the bright side, it seems like Mischa’s recent spiral-of-sorts is landing her some major tabloid action. This past week she scored spots in three magazines!

The Enquirer:

OK!:

And a two-page spread in Star:

She couldn’t even get a two-page spread in Star back in 2007! This is a beacon of light in tragically dark times.

Good job, Coop - we’re all so proud of you!

Oh, and before I forget - it seems like the blog has a new fan:

Welcome to hell, Cisco! (Obligatory NSFW Picture Of His Balls)

“I think she’s beautiful & smart.” What a class act!

StarOctober 16, 2006

On This Day In 2007 Pete Doherty serenaded a hanging Kate Moss at London’s Hackney Empire Theater.

Lindsay Lohan? Doing something to help her career?

It’s just not realistic.

On This Day In 2007 A fresh out of rehab Britney Spears called for a X17Online photographer to videotape a message to the public during a stop at a Los Angeles tanning salon. She told him not to ask her any questions but said, simply, “It’s my time.”

Here’s what Coachella looked like 10 years ago:

Cory Kennedy

ScarJo with The Jesus & Mary Chain

Cisco Adler (Obligatory NSFW Picture Of His Balls)

Steve Aoki

Tara Reid

Peaches& Jessica Alba

… and Ron Jeremy

Cameron Diaz& Drew Barrymore

Aziz Ansari

Mischa Barton

Kimbo Stewart& Alex Turner

Courtney Love’s lip injections

Amy& Blake

Danny DeVito

And Kelly Osbourne

La“Sober” Lohan, whose bodyguard Jaz supplied her with tequila shots all night:

And Parasite with Lilo’s ex Harry Morton:

Despite Lindsay calling Paris a “cunt” on MySpace two weeks earlier, the girls joined forces for a coked-up festival dance-off to Bloc Party’s Helicopter:

But the party came to an end when Kelly O. reported her purse stolen to the Palm Springs Police, who in the midst of their “investigation” stumbled upon a drug den in the VIP restroom… sending Lilo, Paris, and their party pals packing.

While partying, though, LL reportedly made several special requests for Amy Winehouse’s Rehab. Fitting!

Us WeeklyFebruary 14, 2005

Victoria and David Beckham leave a restaurant in London, March 2007

Lindsay Lohan stole $10,000 worth of clothing from a former friend.

On the night of April 15th, Lindsay visited model Lauren Hastings’ L.A. home, which was being watched over by a friend while Lauren was working on a shoot in Texas.

Lilo, who met Hastings in rehab, told the house sitter that she had left some of her clothing in Lauren’s room, so the pal let her inside - along with her bodyguard Jaz. By the end of the evening, the duo had stuffed dozens of bags filled with clothing into Lohan’s car and took off, a distraught Hastings discovering a barren bedroom upon returning home the next morning, crying: “Where are all of my clothes? Where are my things?”

That day, Lauren filed a police report against La Lohan, and texted her estranged pal that she wasn’t going down without a fight. Lindsay, who was busy partying at Hyde alongside Nicole Richie& Samantha Ronson, passed the Blackberry amongst her fellow coke fiends and they responded to Hastings texts with some not-so-friendly words of their own:

Richie, who’d already harbored some resentment for the model for hooking up with ex-fiance DJ AM, had a particularly vicious message for her:

After selling her story to Star, Hastings unleashed the ’proof’ of the alleged theft on her Buzznet profile - in a post titled Lindsay: Is It Odd We Like The Same Clothes?

And she proceeded to leak the nasty Blackberry battle:

But despite Lauren’s proof, the case was dismissed the following month by the LAPD for a “lack of sufficient evidence.”

And while Hastings continued to peddle her story to the tabloids, she did wish her frenemy some kind words when Lilo was shipped off to Promises Malibu following a Memorial Day weekend DUI.

Bonus: Lauren was also the Britney lookalike in the Cry Me A River video.

Nana Lohan invites you in.

Warning: Some NSFW Pictures (And Not Of Cisco Adler’s Balls)

~More Home Videos?~

And you guys think Mischa Barton has no impact!

According to a recent report in OK!, Britney Spears is the star of a sex tape possibly being peddled around Hollywood:

I highly doubt it, as I first spotted this rumor in an issue of the Enquirer a couple of weeks ago - no, I don’t pay for that trash, but I do accompany my mom to the supermarket every Saturday to flip through the tabloids I’m too cheap to subscribe to… yep, I’m that much of a loser.

Anyways, when would this supposed sex tape even be from? 2007? If so, that shit would’ve leaked already. I’m reminded of a semi-vintage article about Adnan Ghalib taking close-up shots of Brit's… bits.. while they were hooking up. Plus, there isn’t a part of Brit we haven’t seen already:

So keep this one in the archives - let Parasite& Kimmy K stick to the triple-X tricks.

Oh, and Screech.

~New Amanda Troubles?~

It’s been a hot second since Amanda Bynes graced the pages of a tabloid, but the Enquirer is drudging up the fallen it-girl for this week’s issue, alleging that she’s been cutting herself a la Lohan, Barton, & co.:

Before you give the rumor any credence, my friend & fellow Amanda connoisseur Spencer (Simon, not Pratt) suggested the marks could be from Mandy’s tattoo removal process. Yeah, you probably forgot she had this:

Amanda’s Unofficial PR Team: 1

Enquirer: 0

~SPEIDI SPAWN!!!~

If you’ve been living under a rock, or choose to only keep up with people relevant post-2010, then you probably haven’t heard that The Hills’ Heidi Montag& Spencer Pratt are expecting their first child together!

‘The Hills’ alums @spencerpratt and @heidimontag are expecting a baby! https://t.co/lq1c8QqSDOpic.twitter.com/PS8TM9mbHk

— Us Weekly (@usweekly) April 12, 2017

I figured the news would be coming soon as Spencer stopped mid-sentence during our podcast recording session the other week to silence the “fake baby” he’d been caring for - yep, Spencer’s working on being a doting dad, don’t let those Enzo days fool you!

Anyways, the power couple scored the latest cover of Us Weekly with the announcement:

my bible arrived pic.twitter.com/o4YdnjhPyq

— popculturediedin2009 (@pcd2009) April 14, 2017

And the inside story for your reading pleasure:

A far cry from their appearance exactly a decade ago in the April 24th, 2007 issue of Us Weekly:

Ah, yes - the sex tape drama:

Time flies!

All I can say is that Speidi spawn’s first appearance better be on our podcast, Spencer. Congrats!

~Random Tidbits~

- Nobody cares about Blanket Jackson.

- Someone stop Tori Spellingfrom having another kid, I beg you.

- Angie Jo’s new abode is fucking gorgeous. Go figure.

- Harper Beckham is a superstar-in-training, and Posh knows it.

- A Fear Factor revival is happening… with Ludacris?

- Talan Torrierois on daddy duty.

- Xenu drama! Jenna“Have you raped a baby?” Elfmangets no love on Reddit.

- Alec Baldwintalks about that little voicemail, ten years later - you can listen to it here!

- The former host of The Apprenticeis pissed at Foxy Knoxy.

- Papa Joeis giving us #glamour at Coachella, meanwhile Ashlee is looking like Brooke Hogan.

- Goopthinks you should go barefoot.

- The Arrangementis getting a second season - loves it!

- Nicole Richiegets slapped.

- Hugh Hefneris still alive, unfortunately.

- Doing big things! ParasiteDJs a yoga class - your move, Blohan.

- 'Liv Palermotalks about reality TV and shit.

- Mary-Kate & Ashley’s stylist dishes on their most iconic looks - including the NYU days!

- Is Saint Siennamaking moves on Brad Pitt?

- La Lohan is coming to Dubai this week to be honored at an awards show for Middle Eastern women - don’t you love 2017?

~Tabloids~

Here are some articles from the recent issues of Us Weekly, Star, OK!, and Life & Style:

Life & Style

Us Weekly

OK!

Star

Hope you guys have a good week! And if you haven’t yet, make sure to send in your celebrity encounters for the upcoming #dirt post!

Happy Easter!

Mischa Barton leaves Teddy’s nightclub, May 2007

my favorite real world moment

In TouchFebruary 4, 2008

Lindsay’s MySpace gets hacked, and Shanna exacts her revenge.

Springtime in Hollywood: Britney’s out of rehab, Mischa’s out of a job, Tara’s out of money, and Kimberly Stewart… well, nobody gives a fuck about her.

So what’s going on with Lindsay Lohan?

Two months out of rehab, La Lohan was already back on the club circuit. After wrapping production on her future Razzie-winning opus I Know Who Killed Me, the wild child pulled out of her follow-up project - The Best Time Of Our Lives with fellow Zoebot Keira Knightley (Later to be replaced, and retitled, with pap-magnet Sienna Miller) - and resumed her nightly runs to Hyde, Winston’s, and LAX.

But it’s not a week in La Vida Lohan without a dose of drama.

In the wee hours of April 19th, 2007, Lilo learned news even more shocking than Sanjaya’s elimination on American Idol: her MySpace was hacked!

The once-private profile, decked with the URL “myspace.com/privacycunt” went public, courtesy of a mystery hacker who began to unleash LL’s private musings onto the gossip-hungry public.

One has to wonder, though, what hadn’t we seen of Lindsay Lohan already?

The past year welcomed crotch shots, nip-slips, and bizarre Blackberrymusings that made Courtney Love seem coherent in comparison, but the hacker made sure to dig up the best goodies he could find, and gossip sites couldn’t be more grateful.

Amongst the Lohanabilia were private shots of the starlet at her most scandalous - like playing Connect Four!

Grinding on Marc Jacob’s ex-rentboy Jason Preston:

Posing with childhood pal, and E! True Hollywood Story guest star, Jessie Jutt:

And some random guy:

Doing… something?

In her element:

But private snaps weren’t all that was leaked! Amongst the Lilo rubble were dozens of messages with Hollywood pals, such as a certain DJ friend of hers:

A friendly exchange with one of her ex-flings, Paris Hilton’s on-and-off boyfriend Starving Nachos:

Oh, and a snap from Stavros’ MySpace - check the caption (Oh hey, Frankie Delgado):

And a classy comment from the shipping heir himself:

You almost forget that these people are all in their twenties!

Also leaked during the Lohack was a war of the words with Paris herself, in which Lindsay calls Perez Hilton a “fat fuck” and suggests Paris’ storage locker scandal from earlier that year was a publicity stunt:

And a slightly more serious note from P to LL:

But the most heated messages leaked that evening came not from Wonky McValtrex, but rather Travis Barker’s ex-wife Shanna Moakler:

While the girls’ messages start out friendly, they quickly descend into digs as Shanna begins to accuse Lilo of sleeping with Travis, much like her frenemy Paris did:

Also in the messages were revelations from LL that the infamous shots of her, Paris, & Britney were simply a publicist-arranged photo-op:

Shocker!

But just as the dirt was getting good, the hacker announced he’d received word from Camp Lohan - and it’s safe to they weren’t too happy with their client’s latest scandal:

“OFF THE RECORD . I WAS EMAILED BY HER CAMP DEMANDING THAT I DELETE EVERYTHING AND WILL BE SUED IF THE WEBSITE IS OPENED . LESLIE SLOANE ZELNICK MENTIONED SHE IS MAKING A STATEMENT TOMORROW STATING HER CLIENT NEVER HAD A MYSPACE/EMAIL/BLACKBERRY ACCOUNT . GOOD LUCK WITH THAT , THE SITE WILL BE READY BY 4/20 AT THE EARLIEST . HACKER310”

The site never came, despite teases of a “28 sec. video camera phone ‘snorting powdery substance’,” amongst other supposed finds.

But just when Lilo thought she had a chance to breathe, and do massive amounts of blow in peace, another attack on Firecrotch came from her new rival Shanna.

While Hollywood’s resident party girls were gearing up for yet another night on the town Friday, April 20th, the ex-Meet The Barkers star decided to bask in her enemy’s recent misfortunes & set gossip sites abuzz with a MySpace bulletin:

Within minutes, Lilo & Paris were bombarded with messages ranging from sweet:

To… well:

Once Lindsay caught wind of Shanna’s shenanigans, she retaliated by adding a link in her buddy info titled “Hatemail” - redirecting to Shanna’s email address. She also took the time to pen an away message that puts all of our aggressive adolescent cyber-digs to shame:

But LL wasn’t fighting the war solo! Seemingly on Team Lohan was her ex-boyfriend, Hard Rock scion Harry Morton.

On April 21st, a post surfaced on a MySpace profile supposedly belonging to the heir:

dancing with the dlisters

myspace.com/privacycunt is not who everyone thinks it is, that url has been hacked/leaked and has not been her account for a while, its now run by some desperate loser who stole her url the second her account was deleted.

this fatass needs to be more focused on keeping her legs closed more then being worried about whos fucking that deadbeat rocker.

starkitten@tmail.com = 10 DILDOS IN HER ASS

And if you thought that was classy, Harry’s bulletin was followed up by this:

But in a twist of events, Shanna denied that the contact information Lohan & co. leaked was even hers:

And she also went on to claim that Harry was her friend, and that the MySpace account with his name was bogus:

A claim surprisingly supported by Morton himself, who went to court weeks later to file a lawsuit against the person behind the account:

In the lawsuit, Harry claimed he suffered “emotional distress,” was forced to “rehabilitate his reputation” and “lost business” due to the MySpace debacle. The only problem is… he didn’t know who was responsible:

Whether or not Jane Doe was ever uncovered remains a mystery to this day, but the it-girl drama didn’t die quite yet. Within hours of the LoHilton leak, screen names and phone numbers belonging to the girls’ pals Brody Jenner, Mary-Kate Olsen, and more began to leak - without Shanna’s help!

But before the dust could settle, the PR teams came out to play. A spokesperson for Lindsay told TMZ: “Those are not her e-mail adresses.” Meanwhile, Paris’ super-publicist Elliot Mintz came up with his usual top-notch Hilton defense:

“It appears to me that this woman is simply desperate for press and attention. The facts are simple. Shanna deliberately posted Paris’ phone number and email address on her MySpace site. It was an unprovoked invasion upon Paris’ privacy which caused her to immediately change her contact information. It was a childish, mean-spirited thing to do and we are not going to dignify such an action with any additional comment.”

As for the woman who started it all, a rep for Shanna stated:

“Shanna had valid reasons for her actions and she stands by every one of them. She’s lost her tolerance for childish games played at her expense and the expense of others for the amusement of bored children. Shanna is at work on her new series for the CW and frankly doesn’t have the inclination to spend more time on this matter.”

Ah, yes, the CW. A prestigious outlet for talent such as Shanna’s.

But the Moakler mayhem didn’t sideline Paris and Lindsay’s own beef. As the one year anniversary of Firecrotch-gate fast approached, the on-and-off feud between Tinseltown’s reigning it-girls reignited during a night at Us Weekly’s annual Hot Hollywood party the following week.

The crowd at L.A.’s Sugar club that night resembled more of a high school cafeteria.

While Wonky was joined by pals Kim“Ho” Stewart, Jack Osbourne, Ryan Seacrest, Lance Bass, JC Chasez, and Joey Fatone, Camp Firecrotch boasted former frenemy Ashlee Simpson, beau Pete Wentz, and Hilton’s onetime BFF - only to be scorned by jealousy - Kim Kardashian.

But while blood wasn’t shed that evening, ties between the party girls remained strained as spring turned to summer, only to take a backseat to the twosome’s tricky legal troubles - to which their mutual enemy Shanna Moakler found a delicious dose of schadenfreude.

Ahhh, 2007.

Gifs & Graphics:@drugproblem& @furhag

Tara Reid need not apply!

If you’re a Photoshop whiz and wouldn’t mind being on call to create graphics of the Olsen Twins or gifs of Paris Hilton’s wonky eye at a moment’s notice, then Team PCD2009 (AKA, just me) wants you!

If you’re interested, drop me a message on here, message me on Twitter @pcd2009, or drop me an email at popculturediedin2009@gmail.com!

Courtney Love and Gwyneth Paltrow out in Beverly Hills, April 2007

Suge Knight confronts a Kevin Federline lookalike outside of a club, April 2007

i hope renee zellweger is having a great birthday

In TouchFebruary 4, 2008